Keep Coming Up Short
by overcrowdedbookshelf
Summary: Dean and Cas have been together for a while now, and finally when it seems that maybe Sam has forgiven Cas for stealing Dean away from Lisa, Cas discovers he's sick. And not the cough cough sickness that you can get over in a day. Castiel has had a rough past with boyfriends, mainly one in particular. Cas has trouble trusting, and Dean's never been hurt before.
1. Chapter 1

Dean's face was pressed up against his pillow, and his feet were tangled in the sheets. Cas had to be at work early this morning, and he had already woken up, so the bed was Dean's to claim. Most nights he was forced to share the full size bed with his boyfriend (and he wasn't complaining) but Dean liked to sprawl all over the place.

Cas came back into their bedroom and pulled his dress shoes on, "Come on Dean it's not that early, you should wake up." Cas didn't hear what Dean said to that, his words were muffled by the pillow, "It's almost seven, Dean, and you have to be at work at eight." When Dean didn't sit up, Cas pulled down the comforter and let the cold air hit his boyfriend's body.

Dean was wide awake then, wearing nothing but dark brief boxers, he sat up in bed and glared at the older man, "I'm going to make you pay for that."

Cas was smiling, already in a good mood, "How?" he tilted his head to one side.

"I'll withhold sex."

Dean crossed his arms in front of his chest and continued to glare at Cas, "I highly disbelieve that." Cas leaned down and kissed Dean's unyielding lips and pretended to look hurt, "Fine then, don't kiss me goodbye."

He made it to the front door before he heard Dean behind him, "Big baby." he heard, and then arms were forcing him to turn around, and he was pushed up against the door and lips where on his and Cas's eyes fluttered closed.

Dean drew a hand through Cas's messy, black hair, and another down the side on his stomach. The side of Cas's lips quirked up, "I don't have time for this, Dean. I've got a bus to catch." but he pulled him back and drew out another long kiss before he pushed dean away and smiled up at him. "Remember tonight to come home early so we can go to that restaurant to meet Sam's new girlfriend, Jessica."

"How could I forget?" he backed away from Cas so he wasn't crushing him against the door anymore, "She's all Sam can talk about."

"Bye, Dean." Cas kissed his cheek, and opened the door, "I love you."

Dean walked over to the kitchen and called from behind the counters, "I know."

"Do I really have to wear this tie?" Dean picked at his jacket. He was standing in the bathroom next to Cas who was fixing his tie.

Cas was dressed in his work clothes, he didn't need to change because his job required him to dress nice, "It's a nice place, it's not a place that see's a lot of plad." Cas walked out of their tiny bathroom and pulled on his trench coat, "Come on, or we'll be late."

Dean came out of the bathroom and opened the apartment door for Cas, "Sam expects me to be late. If I'm early he'll be worried."

At the restaurant Sam's eyes raised when he saw Dean and Cas sit down at exactly seven o'clock, "What's wrong?" he looked at Cas, then back at Dean.

Dean looked over at Cas and smirked, and then he looked across the table, at the petite blonde who was clutching Sam's arm, "Care to introduce us Sammy?"

Sam blinked, clearly caught off guard and shook his head, "Oh yeah, right." the blonde let go of Sam's arm and caught his hand when he offered it, she smiled and Dean had to admit that she was really pretty. "Jessica, this is my brother Dean, and his-" he paused for just a second, but Cas noticed it, "boyfriend Castiel, but you can just call him Cas."

Jessica smiled and nodded her head at Cas, "I love your eyes, they're so bright. Mine are just a really dull blue." Cas laughed and shook his head, "I've always wanted to meet someone with eyes like that."

Dean raised an eyebrow at that, "Why's that?"

She blushed and looked over at Sam, and he was frowning a bit, "I've always thought that bright eyes mean they had a bright mind, and blue is my favorite color." Jessica leaned into Sam just a bit, "But hazel is extremely dazzling, there's just so much color in it."

Sam smiled and cleared his throat, "Dean, Bobby said you started working on the impala again." Sam looked down at Jessica and explained, "It's the car our dad had. He died in a car crash, it was just a twisted piece of metal, but Dean's been working on it for about two years. He's a mechanic."

"Oh, interesting, I use to drive a '79 z28 Camaro. I had to help my dad out with a few things on it."

Dean smiled at her, 'Sammy had caught himself a good one', he thought to himself. He went on to talk about his plans for the impala, and Jessica told him various things about her old Camaro, but Cas was looking off into the distance, just thinking. It had been nearly two years since he and Dean had started dating, and Sam still mistrusted him.

One mistake and the younger Winchester judged the ground he walked on.

Halfway through dinner Dean turned the conversation back towards Cas, "No, but if you want to have your mind leak out through your ears, you should hear Cas teach. He's a professor down at Kansas University."

Jessica laughed and Sam, seemed to have toned out, "Come on, you haven't even been to one of my classes, Dean. How could you possibly know if I was boring or not?"

Blonde hair bounced, as Jessica tried to stop laughing, she liked Castiel, and she wasn't put off that he was gay, and it helped that Dean was such a charmer, "That's mean Dean, come on Sam. Tell your brother to stop being mean to poor Castiel." She was smiling, and Dean told her that 'Sammy couldn't make me do one damn thing'. Sam faked a smile and opted to stay out of the friendly banter.

"Excuse me; I have to go to the bathroom." Castiel smiled at them, and got up from the table. He heard Dean start in on another story of how Sam was the geekiest kid. In the bathroom he pulled out his phone, and realized they'd already been there for an hour, and in that time Sam hadn't said more than ten words to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas thought back to when he first met Dean, at that time he was engaged to a pretty girl named Lisa, he had moved in just next door and they got along great as friends. Dean was nice, and he lived an apple pie life. Then one day he got drunk at a party, and cornered Cas alone in the kitchen and told him he was gay and he didn't love Lisa like he thought he did, he also told Cas he had amazing eyes.

Dean started crying, and Sam had walked in. He had been a gangly teenager then, but one look at his brother, and then at Cas, he immediately jumped to conclusions. "What the fuck did you do to my brother?"

"Sammy I'm alright." He wiped his nose and seemed to remember where he was immediately, "You know I'm a crazy drunk. Cas here was just listening to all the shit that I needed to get off my chest." Dean had glanced at Castiel, and he gave him an odd look, "He was going to drive me back to my house, we're neighbors."

"I can drive you back." Dean shook his head and Sam smiled at Castiel, they had been friends then. "Make sure my brother doesn't annoy you too much." Those had been the last friendly words he uttered to Cas.

When Cas had pulled into Dean's driveway in the impala, Dean had told him to help him to the door. "I'm wobbly on my feet." At the front door Dean leaned in close to Cas and whispered things in his ear, the next moment they were shutting the door behind them, and Cas was murmuring back into Dean's ear.

"You're engaged." it was getting harder to concentrate with Dean sliding his hand through Cas's hair. "Dean, are you sure?"

They were both sweaty and he could tell Dean was hard, but he didn't want to break up and engagement, "Just fuck me." Dean growled in a husky voice, and Cas needed no further encouragement. The morning after Dean brought Cas home Lisa had found them. On their bed. Naked. Spooning. And Dean was the little spoon. Needless to say there wasn't much margin for error when she guessed at what had happened.

Castiel had gone pale; then beat red. He gathered his clothes and rushed into the bathroom and almost puked. He could hear Dean trying to tell her he was sorry, but not sorry at the same time. It all made Cas's head spin. Once he pulled on his blue jeans and old hoodie he slipped out of the bathroom and tried to make it downstairs unnoticed. But Dean's eye caught his and he froze, "Stay." it wasn't an invitation.

Lisa narrowed her eyes at Cas and he avoided her eyes, he didn't want to mess anything else up. Maybe there was a chance for things to be sorted out between them, and he could move to Spain or something.

He watched as Dean pulled on the pair of boxers he threw off last night and dig in his dresser and pull on worn jeans and a T-shirt, "Lisa I'm sorry, but I was planning on breaking it off anyways, I'm just not-"

"No, I'm sorry Dean," all her anger left her face, and she looked tired, "Get out. Come back for your stuff when I'm not here." She started crying and ran to the bathroom, the sound of the lock was loud. Cas looked over at Dean and he saw the younger man watching him, but he didn't say anything.

Some how, ten minutes later Dean was sitting in Cas's kitchen, a duffle bag by his chair, and his hands were in Cas's hair, "What the fuck are we doing?" Castiel tried to make Dean stop and think of what they were doing. What they did.

"Making out. Or we would be if you'd shut up." Dean smirked at Cas, but he pulled away from Dean.

He gripped his own black hair and tried to think clearly, he had drank so much last night, and his memories of most of it where just images and still photos. He couldn't remember how exactly Dean had convinced any of this would be a good idea. "You just broke up with Lisa, Dean. You were going to marry her. Don't you regret last night? Why aren't you yelling at me, and fighting for her?"

Cas couldn't understand why anyone would want to chose him over anything else. He wasn't normal. People told him he stared too much. Sam had instantly hated Castiel from that moment on. But it had been three years since Dean and him had been together.

Castiel's mind was jerked back to the present when someone was touching the side of his face, he was sitting on the floor in the bathroom at the restaurant. He looked up and saw worried green eyes. "Cas?" Dean was kneeling in front of him, "Are you alright?"

Cas stood up and Dean followed him, "I just," he looked at himself in the mirror. He doesn't blame Sam for hating him. His brother could be married with children right now, but instead he was helping his boyfriend off a bathroom floor. "I guess I got lost in thought."

Back at the table, Jessica looked at Cas and worried over him, like she was his mother. "Are you sure you're alright? You where gone almost twenty minutes, Dean was practically wringing his hands."

Even Sam looked concerned, "I'm fine I promise. Sometimes I just forget where I am for a while."

Opps.

Dean glared at him, and his eyes said that they would talk about this later. Jessica petted his hand. When they walked back out to their cars, Jessica hugged Dean and Castiel goodbye, "It was lovely meeting you two." Sam hugged his brother, and shook Cas's hand, he even smiled a bit.

"Jessica seemed nice." Cas threw his keys onto the coffee table and sat down on the sofa Dean seemed to have not heard him. "Sam needs to get a haircut." Cas tried again.

"Yeah." Dean took off his clothes and threw on his old sweats, "Where are all my shirts?" he called from the bedroom. There was banging noises, like he was slamming dresser doors.

Cas got up and sighed, "Second door, Dean." He stood over Dean, who was kneeling on the ground, and pulled open the door. He tossed the other man a shirt and he slipped it over his head, "I have no idea how you manage to get dressed when I'm not here." Together they walked back to the living area and Cas curled up into Dean's side, "I'm sick of Dr. Sexy M.D., let's watch something else."

"But they planned on doing the face transplant on this episode."

"I am not afraid to fight for the remote, and you know I fight dirty." Cas got up on his knees and wiggled his fingers, "I will tickle you Dean Winchester." Dean handed him the controller and Cas settled back down, "Star Treck is on, want to watch it?"

Thirty minutes into it, Cas's mind began to wonder, and he couldn't stay focused on the show. Dean's breathing had slowed, and Cas knew that the other man had fallen asleep. After Dean had broken the engagement with Lisa he had stayed with Cas in the house next door. Dean slept on the couch and never bothered to flirt with Cas, it was as if that one night had been just to get away from Lisa. Then one day he caught the younger man staring at him while he was eating dinner alone at the kitchen bar, "I didn't hear you come in Dean."

Dean shrugged and he smiled with his eyes, "I came in through the back, Lisa just got home."

They were quiet for a few minutes, Dean grabbed a bowl and poured himself a bowl of cereal. Cas was aware of how close the other man was sitting next to him. Every now and then his knee brushed Cas's and it sent spikes of pleasure through his gut. For a moment he let himself wonder what it might be like to build a relationship with Dean, but then he crushed it with one thought. _I don't want another pair of scars like the ones from my last boyfriend._

"I don't know how to-" Dean started talking into his bowl, "I wanted to ask if-" his cheeks grew red and his fist clenched around his spoon. The cheap metal started to bend under the pressure. "Damn it Cas I'm just trying to ask if you want to date me." Cas looked over at him, and saw hard green eyes, and his flinched. Dean saw it and his eyes softened and his back slumped. _Screw it all to hell,_ Cas thought. "I just thought."

The rest of his sentence was cut off by chapped lips being pressed up against Dean's, "The couch seems much to uncomfortable." Cas said as he pulled away and he blushed at his own bold words.

There was a sharp pain in the base of his skull as he slid off the couch back in their apartment, and when he opened his eyes, light burned brighter than the sun. His headache was growing and he barely managed to stand up and start to make his way to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Cas made it five steps before he pitched forward in the hallway, he was on his knees and clinging to the wall. In his mind he called out for Dean, but he wasn't sure if he had actually called for him out loud.

As quickly as it started, the pain faded away, leaving an ugly taste in his mouth. It was blood. Cas brushed his teeth and checked his reflection in the mirror above the sink. He didn't look any different, and that was good. There's no need to worry Dean over nothing.

"Come on to bed." Cas shook Dean's shoulder and he tried to swipe his hand away.

"Shh sleeping." his voice was muddled with sleep.

Cas glanced over at the wall clock and saw that it was already midnight. But that wasn't possible, it couldn't have been 10:30. His cell also showed midnight, and Cas felt his mouth go dry. Maybe he should tell Dean. Dean rolled over and sat up on the couch, "I'm horny." he announced tiredly, with a wicked grin on his face.

Cas couldn't help but smile, and he pushed back his worries for later, "You're barely awake, Dean." Dean stood up and found Cas's hand, "I'm tired, let's go to bed. Tomorrow's Saturday, I'll let you fuck me senseless into the mattress if I can just sleep now." In bed, Cas curled around Dean and placed his head on the other man's chest. He could feel Dean's heartbeat, "Love you."

Dean leaned down and kissed the top of Cas's head, "Same here." but Cas was already asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean woke up from a dreamless sleep around four in the morning, there was a light on in the bathroom, and Cas wasn't in bed next to him. He was just about to roll over and fall back asleep when he heard Cas throwing up. Dean was out of bed in a flash, and he had to sit back down to let the wave of vertigo pass.

"Cas baby, you alright?" he walked into their bathroom and saw Cas clutching at the toilet bowl and his face was deathly pale.

Castiel had his face pressed against the toilet seat, and he didn't even look up at Dean. "I'm fine, Dean. Go back to bed, just a little sick." He started coughing, and his whole body shook with the effort at trying to be still. He stood up and smiled at Dean, "Probably something I ate."

Then his body went limp and he fell back down to the floor, barely missing the hard tile, and landing on a pile of dirty towels. Dean picked him up, and was scared of how hot he felt.

Dean pulled on his jeans from earlier and grabbed his keys. The streets were empty, and he couldn't find a taxi anywhere. Dean stood on the dark sidewalk, with Cas in his arms, and no way of getting him the help he needed. "Bobby gets your ass over here now. There's not a damn taxi in sight and Cas needs to go to the hospital."

Dean knew that the old man wouldn't be asleep now, he almost never slept, and he didn't want to call Sam and have to answer a million questions.

Bobby was there in under ten minutes and he just parked his truck and helped the still unconscious Cas into the backseat of his truck. "Sit in the front and stop your worrying. Or I'll put you in the hospital."

Dean couldn't help but glance back at Cas frequently, "I don't know what happened Bobby."

"Well thank God you're not the damn doctor, idgit."

Cas woke up right before they got to the hospital, and Dean had to turn around in his seat and tell him not to sit up. Bobby didn't say anything about the crack in his voice, and Dean was sure Cas was too busy feeling miserable. Cas insisted that he could walk to the doctor's office, but he took one step and almost busted it. Dean scooped him up, and carried him inside, a woman at the front desk looked up alarmed. She brought Cas a gurney and told Dean that he couldn't go with him. After everything had calmed down, and everybody quit asking him what had happened, and he told Bobby that he could go home, Dean texted Sam. "I had to take Cas to the hospital." Hopefully he wouldn't see it until morning and everything would be sorted out by then.

Dean's phone rang instantly, "What's happened? Jessica and I are coming immediately, which hospital?" Sam sounded tired.

"Did I wake you up?" Sam didn't say no, "You don't have to come, nobody is even telling me anything." he glared at the receptionist.

"Well then what happened?" That was Jessica's voice, Sam must have put him on speaker.

"I woke up about thirty minutes ago and Cas was puking his guts up in the bathroom, he said he was fine, then he passed out. And remember earlier tonight at the restaurant? It happened again when we got home, but I couldn't get him out of it. Then he was fine. I just thought it was a head ache thing... I should have done something sooner."

"Dean there was no way you could have known." Sam sounded sincere and Jessica told Dean that he did the best thing by bringing him to the hospital. "Which hospital are you in? We'll be there in the morning."

"Sioux Falls General." They hung up and Dean sat back down on the uncomfortable chair in the waiting room.

Just then a nurse rushed up to him, and clutched at her clip board, "You're with Mr. Novak correct? We ran a few tests on him, a MRI, and a Cat Scan, along with a few others. We're waiting for the results and they shouldn't be in 'til afternoon tomorrow, you should go home and get some rest."

"Where's Cas?"

The nurse sighed and looked down at the clipboard in her hands, "Room 416. But sir," Dean looked at her, annoyed that he is delayed from seeing Cas any longer, "The doctors have guessed at what it is. Now, it's very rare and normally happens to trauma victims, and with Mr. Novak's history…"

"That was more than five years ago." Dean began to panic, how much was Cas going to suffer from that bastard?

The nurse looked at him, he saw the pity, "When the police found him he had a serious concussion and major blood lose, not to mention all the cuts and bruises. He's a very strong man," she placed a small hand on Dean's arm, "I'm sure he can kick this in no time."

Dean was allowed to sit in Cas's room, he was asleep, but he looked better.

Castiel's first serious boyfriend was also the year he graduated from college, everything was perfect. It was the last free summer of his adult life and he was sitting in the shade in a park. His hair was longer, almost to his eyes, and he was just so innocent to the ways of the world. In his lap was some old dime novel he nicked from some convenient store. Castiel didn't notice the young man sit next to him, but he felt the hand on his shoulder.

Cas yelled. "Sorry man, I just wasn't sure how to get your attention. That must be a very good book."

Pale skin blushed, "Not really." Cas stuffed his book in his messenger bag and grinned up at the blonde sitting next to him, "I just thought it was a nice day to be outside."

"And sit in the shade, to read a book?" he had a sharp face and muscled arms, "I'm Lucifer, by the way."

"Castiel." They shook hands.

Lucifer smiled at Cas, "It seems we were both named after angels." Cas looked at him more sharply, most people just said that his name was odd, they never knew where it was from. And it's not like being named after the devil is something anyone would just go around sharing.

Cas woke up early in the morning, the screen with his heart rate started to beet faster. Dean woke up instantly, "Cas baby, how do you feel?"

Cas looked at Dean, panic in his eyes, "Who are you?" Dean almost puked, _no, not this. God please let me keep him safe._ "Dean?" Cas reached out for him, "Why am I in the hospital?"

"Last night you spaced out again, and I woke up in the middle of the night to fond you puking your guts up, then you passed out. Caught up?" Dean tried to laugh, he really did. It came out more like a sob.

Castiel didn't notice, "When can I leave?" he was fiddling with the IV in his arm, "I have work, this must be expensive-"

"I'll go get the doctor." Dean didn't look at Cas as he left the room, it was best if he didn't see the pain in his eyes.

When Dean came back Cas was still awake and the doctor noted that this was a good sign. Dean wondered what a bad sign was. "So when can I go home?"

There was a long pause before the doctor spoke up, "A week tops, with this disease it's better to have you somewhere where you are familiar with the surroundings."

Dean shot Cas a glance, he looked irritated, "What's wrong with me?

Dean sat down in the chair beside Cas, the doctor had bright red hair, she smiled apologetically, "I'm not going to bother you with the long and scary sounding name, but you're brain has blocked out a lot of terrible memories. And now it's going to try to block everything else out." Cas's hand found Dean's and he felt cold. "There are several treatments that we can do, but for right now the best things is to be woth those you know and love. Try playing mind games, or stay occupied, don't let your mind wander."

Cas sat up straighter in his bed, "And what will happen if none of that works?"

"Those painful memories you blocked will resurface and depression is common at this stage. Next you'll start to lose your newest memories, months can be erased in an afternoon. You'll forget your motor skills, and eventually your brain will just be used up trying to understand what is happening around you, but before that happens we'll have you transferred here for safe keeping." The doctor was blunt, Dean hadn't been told about all that. He just thought that Cas was going to lose his memory, like he would have amnesia.

The doctor left and promised to be back soon with information concerning Cas's release. Dean Cas didn't hear any of this, "Dean I'm sorry."

He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around him, but that couldn't stop the shaking, Dean got up and sat down next to Cas on the small hospital bed, "It's not your fault Cas, don't ever think that."

11 months after Castiel met Lucifer at the park they were walking down some street in the city. Castiel was upset because he had to miss his lecture test, but Lucifer wouldn't let him do a lot of things lately.

"The test would have taken me an hour tops."

Castiel felt Lucifer's hand tighten around his forearm, "Who cares, it's just a literate test, it's not like you would have done that good on it anyways." For a moment Castiel wondered about leaving him, but he knew that he couldn't. Lucifer would never let him go, not now. Not after what happened last time. He still woke up in a cold sweat, "We're almost here."

Lucifer took him to an illegal casino, "Why don't you go up to that pretty waitress and sneak some drinks off her tray."

"I'll get caught." Lucifer knew it too, he just liked watching Castiel be man handled and shoved out into alleys, only coming to his aid if they were too brutal. Castiel sighed and walked up the small dark hair girl, he looked at her name tag, "Hello there, Meg. I'm Castiel" He grinned and pretended that he wasn't going to pass out.

She looked up at him and her dark eyes smiled, "Well hello Clarence." He wanted to correct her, but it didn't matter, it's not like he would ever get to talk to her again. "Care for a drink?" her low cut top was pressed up against his chest and he could feel her against him. How odd it was that this one little gesture almost broke him. If she had asked how he was doing he might have fallen down to the ground and started crying. Too bad.

"Two please." She handed two small shots of whiskey over to him and walked away. She didn't even wait for any money.

Castiel sighed in relief, he wasn't going to be thrown onto some nasty pavement, he walked back over to Lucifer, who was frowning, "Did she just give those to you?" Castiel didn't like the way Lucifer was looking at Meg, her small curvy body was weaving it's way around the room. Everyone else had to pay for their drinks.

When she came back towards Castiel, Lucifer grabbed his arm and pulled them back towards his apartment. Castiel didn't dare say anything the whole way back, and Lucifer didn't speak to him, only hitting him across the head for helping an old woman across the street.

"You're mine, nobody else's." he whispered into Castiel's ear. They were in Lucifer's bedroom now, and he was pulling off Cas's jeans.

Cas's face was pressed into the mattress and he couldn't get enough air, he felt like he was suffocating. Every time he thought he might get some air, Lucifer held down his head. There were nails in his back, he was sure they were drawing blood. "I'm going to fuck you dry baby, I want you to enjoy the pain. I want you to beg for it." One hand pushed his face further into the bedspread, it stank of Lucifer, "Beg for it."

He pulled Cas's head, he sucked in a ragged breath, his face almost purple, "Please-" he wasn't begging for sex, he was begging to be let go. He didn't want any of this

But the please was good enough, Lucifer rammed into Castiel. His scream was muffled against the mattress, it was torture.


	4. Chapter 4

**sorry this chapter is kind of short, i just wanted to get something to you guys about Dean and Cas getting to know each other for the first time, and a little bit of sadness, reviews are welcome!**

It happened when Dean had started to hope again; he hoped that maybe this disease would go away on its own, but Dean had never been much of a lucky person. He was watching TV in their small living area and he was just about to ask Castiel what he wanted to watch, but the words got stuck in his throat.

Dean turned around and saw Cas staring out to empty space, "Babe?" he got up and walked over to him, "You alright?"

When Dean laid his hand on Cas's arm he jumped and turned frightened eyes on the other man, "Please don't ever let me go back there."

Dean didn't have to guess that Cas had been remembering things from his relationship with Lucifer, "You're never going to leave me baby." Dean wrapped in a hug so tight he was scared he might hurt Cas, but Castiel returned all strength to it. When they pulled away Dean saw that Cas's nose was bleeding.

Cas started crying and together they sat down on the couch and Dean wiped away his tears and tilted Cas's head back to help stop the bleeding. "The doctor said to call if you ever had a nose bleed with one of these attacks."

Cas bent his head down, ignoring Dean's protest to keep his head up, he curled into Dean's side. "Not right now," His voice came out muffled and broken from the tears and the fact that he practically had his face pressed into Dean's chest. "Dean there's a reason I repressed those memories."

Dean stroked Cas's back, "I know baby, I know."

"You know how I've been wondering where that scar on my back came from?" Dean didn't have to hear the next part to know who had given him that scar. He felt all his anger rise to the surface and he had to fight to hold it down and let Cas stay calm. "He said he should carve out my wings since I wasn't his angel anymore."

Cas fell asleep against Dean's chest not long after that, and Dean called his doctor and told him about the episode. When Cas woke up he was happy and bubbly and instantly Dean thought of the worst. _Not another episode, not this soon, let me have him. Oh God just let me just have him_.

"Dean let's go out to the movies." Cas seemed fine, perfect even, but still Dean remained wary. "I know with my medication money's tight, but just one movie."

The tension in Dean's shoulders relaxed and he moved beside Cas and looped his arm around his waist, "What do you want to see baby?"

Dean sat down at the back of the theater with a drink in each hand, "This better not be a chick flick." He warned. Cas laughed and sat down next to him, moving the arm rest so he could slide up next to Dean and place his head on Dean's shoulder.

"I heard it was good Dean, let's give it a chance."

But even as the title credits were playing Dean's eyes weren't on the screen, they were locked on Cas's face. He was staring intently at the screen with such rapt attention that Dean felt free to stare at his boyfriend. Something he hasn't done in awhile. Cas did look healthy. There was color in his cheeks and he might have gained some of his weight back. Dean looked at other things too. He looked at Cas's bed head and his bright blue eyes. It was his eyes that had drawn Dean to him to start with.

It was a month before the party, and Cas had been moved in for about two months now. They were friendly enough, neighborly even, but one night Cas had just gotten home as Dean was pulling up into his and Lisa's driveway. Cas was caring maybe ten groceries bags and struggling to open his front door. Dean was next to him before he even thought what to do. Then there was an awkward exchange where Cas handed him his keys and Dean swung open the front door and helped Cas put his groceries away. Then they were just standing in Cas's kitchen looking at anything but each other, "Thank you for the help Dean." Cas stuck out his hand and Dean looked up into the man's eyes and instantly something shifted in him.

"No problem," Dean shook his hand, "that's what neighbors are for after all."

Dean stayed for an hour or two after that, he found out that Cas was an accountant. And He didn't roll his eyes when he found out that Dean was a mechanic. "I don't even have a car, I just ride my bike around town."

Eventually Dean had to leave and when he got home and sat down to eat dinner with Lisa he felt like something was different.


End file.
